Communication: The Maker or Breaker

Communication. A word known. Mainly understood. But struggled to implement in the fabric of life and relationships. Communication is such a vital concept when sustaining and stewarding relationships of all kinds. It’s very similar to engines in cars. In cars, the primary purpose of an engine is to convert oil to energy in order to power the vehicle’s movement. In relationships, communication converts experiences, thoughts, and feelings into transformative knowledge that powers and pushes relationships forward. Even if that forward movement is a together motion or a separated but in peace motion.

What is Communication?

But what is communication? Are there different types? There are. Communication is considered to be a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a system of symbols, signs, or behavior. Communication can be verbal, nonverbal, written, and visual. You are communicating even when you think you are not. You are communicating even when you are not using your words. Your decisions communicate. Your body language communicates. Your interaction communicates. Your ideas communicate. Your appearance communicates. Think about a job interview. Do you show up dressed and looking anyway? No, you do not. Why? Because your appearance communicates your readiness and professionalism for the job. The same is with communication. There has to be some level of intentionality regarding communication in all relationships. Even if there is no intentionality, something is communicated. Often, what is communicated is a reflection of your heart and/or maturity regarding the matter.

The Dangers of Ineffective Communication

There’s effective communication. Then there’s ineffective communication. Effective communication consists of active listening (not listening to respond), empathy, honesty, humility, vulnerability, authenticity, and reflective thinking. Ineffective communication is the exact opposite. Ineffective communication consists of constant interruptions, overuse of unknown jargon and language, not listening, ignoring feedback, ignoring and downgrading other’s experiences, avoidance, demonstrating a lack of empathy, and monopolizing conversations (just to name a few). Ineffective and lack of communication is detrimental to relationships; especially marriages. Ineffective and lack of communication creates an entry point for the enemy to enter and cause misunderstanding, confusion, division, strife, resentment, anger, destroyed trust, and a weakened bond which ultimately poses a threat to the purpose and mission of the relationship. This can lead to increased stress, depression, anxiety, insecurity, and emotional shutdown.

So, communication is important. It is a part of the life line of any relationship. As you’re reading this, I charge you to analyze and reflect on your relationships. Have you been intentional about what you’ve been communicating? Or have you allowed whatever that has been communicated to just be communicated? If so, why? Is there a hard truth that you don’t want to admit? Are you afraid? If so, what? Take the time and explore your relational dynamics and why. This is an easy fix. And there is another side.